My hands are the center of my life. They go numb regularly. A screeching buzz which crawls slowly across the back following the veins into my fingers; someday this urgent numbness will enter the digits and push push push. But for now I wake at times confused at the pain seeing stars as I grope for feeling in my forearms, my wrists, that thumb with its hint of fire.
My eyes deceive. At moments I see two of you. Sometimes you are but a splash of color in a sea of fuzz while at others the tears gather. Always when I most need to see like when I'm driving or looking into your eyes.
My ears a adrift with crickets, the sounds of the night, and a rushing white noise. When you talk I might not hear you over the din of the city, this room, or my ears.
But my voice, my voice remains strong and long after my ears, my eyes, & my hands have failed me my voice will be raised and you, you will hear me.
I know what you mean. I found this site on a google search looking for something else, i won't say what. That was maybe 5 months ago. I've been reading it almost every day since at work. That was until this morning when I was fired. I'd like to say that in some way I hold you partially responsible for that because it's only been since then that things at work have really been not so kosher. But then I am so confused by the things you say, I don't know what to think. Yet it keeps me coming back for more. Like an itch, or something. I have to read your site, even here at the library which is where I have to check the internet now because I lost my job. I have to read it all the time until I figure out what it means because it drives me fucking crazy.
Posted by: Steve Dore | October 22, 2003 at 12:08 AM
Steve,
How can you blame someone else for YOUR ACTIONS?
Some puzzles are better left to set for a while, to be revisited later with more clarity, and a fresh mind.
Posted by: ben | October 22, 2003 at 04:20 AM